once again: I think I'm a very jealous person.. altho I keep it all in.. I see things people do, people have, people get and I always put it aside.. I say it's not my turn.. I'm not ready for it.. the universe isn't ready for me just yet.. but soon.. just gotta be patient.. I think that's my greatest virtue.. patience.. it would have killed me otherwise.. just gotta wait for it.. one day you'll see.. or maybe if I wait long enough, one day I'll just forget about it.. some things people should say to me cause I really don't care.. some things people shouldn't promise me, or even mention it cause I could have been waiting forever.. am just hopeful I guess.. only thing that keeps me going..

posted by spes 12:43 pm  1 comments

  the build-up lasted for days
lasted for weeks
lasted too long

our hero withdrew
when there was two
he could not choose one
so there was none

worn into the vaguely announced
worn into the vaguely announced

the spinning top made a sound like a train across the valley
fading, oh so quiet, but constant 'til it passed
over the ridge into the distances, written on your ticket
to remind you where to stop
and when to get off

the spinning top made a sound like a train across the valley
fading, oh so quiet, but constant 'til it passed
over the ridge into the distances, written on your ticket
to remind you where to stop
and when to get off

the spinning top made a sound like a train across the valley
fading, oh so quiet, but constant 'til it passed
over the ridge into the distances, written on your ticket
to remind you where to stop
and when to get off
when to get off
when to get off
when to get off

kings of convenience feat. feist - the build up
posted by spes 12:15 pm

  conclusion: as much as I try to have that mentality in my head.. he just says ther right things.. it sucks to be wrong.. but luckily I was all along..
posted by spes 12:04 pm  0 comments

  the bus ride: listening to this song over and over makes me want to drop down and cry.. just one of those days.. it's giving me the wrong message.. things I shouldn't think about.. just one of those days where I want to be sad.. I want to be hurt.. to prove that I was right and the world was wrong all along.. but is that worth it? some things I should learn to accept.. that I should be wrong about.. and that's a good thing.. cause it's all about trust.. something that is hard for me to grasp.. there's is no end product that tells me, 'yes.. you have that.. good..' I just have to live with it blindly.. just like faith.. and hope that this world isn't so cruel..
posted by spes 2:03 pm  0 comments

  3 large pizzas: silly thing I did today.. got bored and I wrote a list of things that I'm unhappy with.. things that made me happy and things that I'm greatful for.. obviously the list of things that makes me unhappy outnumbered the other two lists.. but I couldn't come up with much of things that made me happy.. but I was however greatful for a lot of things.. I guess that's good enough..
posted by spes 2:20 am  0 comments

  i don't like big boobs: where have I been? here.. but just never found the time or inspiration to write lately.. I usually start off with a few sentences and end up trashing the whole thing entirely.. the past few weeks has its ups and downs.. work is a bummer.. I mean hey, it's not bad at all believe you me.. I actually do things rather than sit around.. and the people are great.. they speak english no less.. just that the hours are kinda pulling my leg a little bit.. but hey.. first week's gotta be hard.. but as always, we cope and get numb by it..
sacrifices.. something I've learned to do.. when it comes to priorities.. you gotta make the right choice on what things to give up.. and what things to hold on to.. some things may look pretty on paper but in the long run.. I never want to be that guy.. I don't want to be up there knowing I had to leave behind one of the few things that actually makes me happy..
posted by spes 12:44 pm  0 comments