Monday, July 02, 2007
and you can pour your heart out but her reasoning will block:
Because I heard jess tell her that, he loves her. That there aren’t real words to describe the single things that are single-handedly singling you out, that there is just is this illogical expanse of time and it moves so logically on, it dizzies you. Because it’s wanting the best for him, but there aren’t any pawns, or bishops, or knights to sway him. That it’s just the parallel of you, but opposite, because it’s hard and already they’re giving up. That you know that because there only so much you can do to help those who fail to help themselves, (and you’re frightened in the corner because) knowing this is only knowing yourself. That the time that should reverse only ever goes forwards in this urgent manner and you’re wanting it to CALM DOWN only to find it’s not only calm but dead. That there isn’t any glue sticking her down, only this flat heavy cement wall melting over and you can stop them from laying brick upon brick, only you choose not to. Because she’s not fighting it. That you want to save her, because she’s that quiet care, that fragile bed always worth wanting, the only thing really worth saving. Because you actually believe the things she says when she’s always saying that IT’S OKAY but always angry, always disappointed when you see she herself is laying on another 5 bricks. Because we all borrowed this thing we call time and you can’t put it back, you can only give it away, because boxes aren’t worth keeping, no matter how much you want her to know. Because you wanted so much for her, because if she knew that I’d give her my last bite, that’s she always the last laugh, the sensible sorrow, because my empty jar is emptier for her, that snow falls for her, that birds want to fly for her, for her, because even the wind carries farther, so much so even black becomes lighter, the ground is softer under her, that even when there isn’t enough air for the all of us that I’m for her, I’m for her, I’M FOR HER…if she could only want it for herself.
posted by fuzzkill 8:38 pm
Because I heard jess tell her that, he loves her. That there aren’t real words to describe the single things that are single-handedly singling you out, that there is just is this illogical expanse of time and it moves so logically on, it dizzies you. Because it’s wanting the best for him, but there aren’t any pawns, or bishops, or knights to sway him. That it’s just the parallel of you, but opposite, because it’s hard and already they’re giving up. That you know that because there only so much you can do to help those who fail to help themselves, (and you’re frightened in the corner because) knowing this is only knowing yourself. That the time that should reverse only ever goes forwards in this urgent manner and you’re wanting it to CALM DOWN only to find it’s not only calm but dead. That there isn’t any glue sticking her down, only this flat heavy cement wall melting over and you can stop them from laying brick upon brick, only you choose not to. Because she’s not fighting it. That you want to save her, because she’s that quiet care, that fragile bed always worth wanting, the only thing really worth saving. Because you actually believe the things she says when she’s always saying that IT’S OKAY but always angry, always disappointed when you see she herself is laying on another 5 bricks. Because we all borrowed this thing we call time and you can’t put it back, you can only give it away, because boxes aren’t worth keeping, no matter how much you want her to know. Because you wanted so much for her, because if she knew that I’d give her my last bite, that’s she always the last laugh, the sensible sorrow, because my empty jar is emptier for her, that snow falls for her, that birds want to fly for her, for her, because even the wind carries farther, so much so even black becomes lighter, the ground is softer under her, that even when there isn’t enough air for the all of us that I’m for her, I’m for her, I’M FOR HER…if she could only want it for herself.posted by fuzzkill 8:38 pm
