i_am_spes_+_mira_+_fuzzy_+_lili: mind is messy:

Saturday, March 17, 2007

mind is messy:

I can't figure this out chris.. you've been down this line a billion times.. and I know you.. I know you know what you're doing..

you've learned your lesson the first time.. you've given oh so many chances and here you are again, face flat on the floor.. and I know that you know why..

you're a masochist..

that's the only connection you have with it.. this dark dark emotion when you're near it.. fuck the smell, fuck the texture.. it's not, not
worth
it..
this thing that you're waiting for is not, not,
and believe me is not gonna come.. you keep running around the same bush expecting the world
when you already have it..

tell me, how many times this year? how many honestly? three right? this is your third time this year.. now tell me how many times last year? countless..

you say you seek happiness and you've had it..

these past three month was stable for you.. why shit all over yourself again?

how long must you wait for it?

take a lesson from fuzzy.. make it your nine month resolution or how ever many months left thins year.. learn to fucking say NO.

stop this hope bullshit..

stop this self sabotaging nonsense..

just fucking stop it..

it ends now..

just take another break.. and notice how many of those you've taken so far.. you're no longer a convenience anymore.. not to anyone.. not to anything..

posted by spes 10:56 am

Comments:

..i love you dear. you're strong enough to pull through anythinganythingeverythingabsolutelyeverything.

# posted by fuzzkill : 9:29 pm