Wednesday, December 27, 2006
my prefrontal cortex may burst out of its hiding-hole:
Lament as i may about new found, not so new, always knew it was there: that loneliness that is speaking, i had to talk to it. Conversations are hard to have in pieces. it's like, you hear something once, and then there's something that maybe wasn't said because they thought it didn't need to be said, (oh, c'est-ne pas vrai! it does it did!) and then you have a slight tinkling of hope that perhaps...well, if i tried hard enough perhaps. but i sooo should not have gone there. it's like shooting yourself in the foot, taking the bullet out, carving a hole in your dear sweet heart that boom-boom of yours, and burying said bullet.it's a self-made tragedy worth writing a song for, but pity the sorry soul i make to listen to it(is it that boom-boom again?). And no amount of special callers ringing fucking loud cat noises that melt all senses and suddenly the ears don't work and memory loses could pull me out...or could it? because i wanted him to ask and listen but at first he didn't and then he did and then i didn't say the things, but many things he said worth saying aren't being heard. Fuzzy!!:
"Plenty more fish in the sea!".
"At least you're not dead".
"Life is sad...and then you die."
its funny, maybe its not anything i might've ever been inclined to want so what was there to lose in the exploration of the unexplored and then why did i want it so bad?maybe so i could be the one at the right end of the rejection stick but tell me that isn't it, its not that at all, silly me. but beds were never warmer and i wasn't as yet less the color of a green green tick-tock, and who can blame me for wanting a one time deal at doing the cinderella thing? so talking if's and discarding "logic", (as much as its defintion defeats the reason for my annoyance, this logic, this reasoning, it annoys!) either way, we're all gonna get that fuzzy fracked up gooood, righty-o?
posted by fuzzkill 10:19 pm
"Plenty more fish in the sea!".
"At least you're not dead".
"Life is sad...and then you die."
its funny, maybe its not anything i might've ever been inclined to want so what was there to lose in the exploration of the unexplored and then why did i want it so bad?maybe so i could be the one at the right end of the rejection stick but tell me that isn't it, its not that at all, silly me. but beds were never warmer and i wasn't as yet less the color of a green green tick-tock, and who can blame me for wanting a one time deal at doing the cinderella thing? so talking if's and discarding "logic", (as much as its defintion defeats the reason for my annoyance, this logic, this reasoning, it annoys!) either way, we're all gonna get that fuzzy fracked up gooood, righty-o?
posted by fuzzkill 10:19 pm
