press reboot: I've moved out.. into a lil'store room I like to call my own store room.. okay the room does look pretty bad for its size but hey.. rent is cheap.. I sleep well and I get my own personal bathroom.. not to mention awesome housemates.. and it's only a 10 minute walk to work at hue visualab to both, the new and old office.. I must say I'm all grown up now.. :) ahh aziem's been such a doll for helping me move out and all.. and coming clean to tanya.. haha.. if he didn't, I'd probably never will.. and I just found out how much I'm getting paid.. tomorrow infact! well for the 3 days I've started working.. hehe.. I mean it's for internship, it pays my rent and a lil'extra to make my new home a lil'bit more homey..
posted by spes 10:14 pm  0 comments

  press crtl-alt-del to self void: this obsession with control is gonna grind me to the ground.. I come home hoping things are different.. I like the walls orange, and my feet out when it's warm.. I like the water running, and my ears beating.. and the discomfort is driving me insane.. I hate routine cause now I have to adapt.. but I think about it every night.. and everyday I wake up feeling a little bit empty.. cause every time I remind myself, it's never in my hands.. so I put up my walls and nailed my door tight.. I sit on my stool, cause I know it's safe.. and I know the only thing I could possibly lose, sir, is myself..
posted by spes 5:18 am  0 comments

  press shift-L to focus: i'm losing focus again.. I see things on screen.. a sudden betrayal, that hurt is not something I want to be reminded of.. a longing marriage, something I crave but I'm just not ready.. a hidden truth, hidden from me but I guess I do that as well.. an unlikely connection, easily manipulated but I dare not touch.. an ending hall way, to something quite possibly never started again.. and you, i miss and I cry.. what I really want I don't need right now.. sighh..
posted by spes 2:07 am  0 comments

  chumelnya si dia finally finally! my semster is over.. I've never been so stressed out in my life.. I think I managed my time really badly.. or maybe I just didn't have the heart for this partcular animation towards the middle of the sem.. but hey.. I pushed it and got through it so here's the final video.. hope you guys enjoy it.. "chumelnya si dia" (he's so cute) is a music video about a girl seeking the attention from the love of her life.. ignore the mtv logo at the end of the clip.. it was just part of our requirements..


posted by spes 1:29 pm  1 comments

  confused lil'boi: sometimes you gotta ask.. is it to better to have felt it, even for a slight moment.. or not to have felt it at all.. for a mere second I've been taken out to limbo.. left my life behind.. took only what I could.. faced with something we all like to believe in as euphoria.. honestly it's funny these games we play in god's lil'islands.. I would like to think I got out of it a changed man.. I left a few things behind and gain some new things in the process.. but coming back to reality.. I'm slowly and gradually coming back to my jaded self.. no more time restrictions.. no more malibu excuses.. it's that feeling I love so very much.. the feeling that excludes anything that is disappointing.. you feel that high and fuck.. but I guess fate can only take you so far.. it's really up to you to make it happen.. and I did.. I tried.. at the risk of sounding desperate.. I had to know..

you never truly know how high you can get till you flick a light in total darkness when he asks you to help light his ciggarette.. and what you see you will bring through out your life.. and there's only so much you can do till 2008.. eh eh..
posted by spes 1:11 am  1 comments