shame: I've lost track of time.. it hasn't even been a week but it feels like months.. times gradually moves slower.. things tend to get darker.. I'm just trying to keep my head straight.. be calm.. for myself and those around me.. I put up a smile.. but it gets lonely really fast.. quiet even.. i put everything to a halt.. cause I don't want to touch it.. it's fragile.. suspended in the air.. but i keep it safe.. i keep it in a jar.. locked tight.. until you say it's okay.. for me to throw it away; it's sealed tight.. cause hope is still there.. a mere single atom.. but it's there; iced solid.. as a constant reminder.. of how dirty my hands are.. how clouded my eyes have gotten.. how faint my heart has become.. i've lost..
posted by spes 2:57 am