Friday, December 02, 2005
:::
I'm truly sorry.. I've said what is needed to be said.. you deserve to know the truth.. if I planned to live the rest of my life with you, I don't think I can live it dishonestly.. my heart couldn't take it.. you deserved to know the truth.. it was by far the hardest thing I've ever done.. I couldn't look you in the eye.. I couldn't watch that reaction.. I was a coward.. I said it with my face covered.. you deserve better.. I'm so so sorry..
I've gone through millions of scenarios over and over in my head.. but there is absolutely no reason that could justify my actions.. and why should it.. it was a mistake.. and I was weak.. I wasn't thinking.. I wasn't thinking about my actions.. I wasn't think about the conciseness.. I wasn't thinking about what it could do to my life.. I wasn't thinking about what harm it caused you.. the one thing I utterly hated I have become.. and there's no turning back.. I can't make it go away.. it's imprinted in my life line forever.. and I will always be known as the guy who shat all over what was once golden.. that is something I have to live with the rest of my entire life.. cause there's no second chance at life.. there's no erasing the past.. my slate is tainted.. and I have to live and breathe with that at the back of my head everyday.. that, i deserve..
I don't deserve you love.. I don't deserve your forgiveness.. I don't deserve a second of your time or an ounce of your effort.. I don't deserve the ground you walk on or the air you breathe.. I'm sorry.. I truly and deeply am sorry.. I'm sorry that i was too weak.. I'm sorry I caused to so much pain.. I'm sorry for every drop of tear you shed.. I'm sorry i made you go through all this shit.. I'm sorry to hurt the only one i love.. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..
last night on your bed.. I prayed to god.. for your forgiveness.. I prayed to god for his forgiveness.. and I pray.. so I could believe in hell.. cause that is all i deserve.. i will always love you.. no matter what..
posted by spes 10:44 pm
I've gone through millions of scenarios over and over in my head.. but there is absolutely no reason that could justify my actions.. and why should it.. it was a mistake.. and I was weak.. I wasn't thinking.. I wasn't thinking about my actions.. I wasn't think about the conciseness.. I wasn't thinking about what it could do to my life.. I wasn't thinking about what harm it caused you.. the one thing I utterly hated I have become.. and there's no turning back.. I can't make it go away.. it's imprinted in my life line forever.. and I will always be known as the guy who shat all over what was once golden.. that is something I have to live with the rest of my entire life.. cause there's no second chance at life.. there's no erasing the past.. my slate is tainted.. and I have to live and breathe with that at the back of my head everyday.. that, i deserve..
I don't deserve you love.. I don't deserve your forgiveness.. I don't deserve a second of your time or an ounce of your effort.. I don't deserve the ground you walk on or the air you breathe.. I'm sorry.. I truly and deeply am sorry.. I'm sorry that i was too weak.. I'm sorry I caused to so much pain.. I'm sorry for every drop of tear you shed.. I'm sorry i made you go through all this shit.. I'm sorry to hurt the only one i love.. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..
last night on your bed.. I prayed to god.. for your forgiveness.. I prayed to god for his forgiveness.. and I pray.. so I could believe in hell.. cause that is all i deserve.. i will always love you.. no matter what..
posted by spes 10:44 pm
