it's all small stuff: today I saw the most inspirational thing in the world.. with my own eyes.. and it was by chance.. like a sign.. I could have missed it in a split second but I didn't.. I saw it.. As my dad was driving on the road, a dog ran by.. really quickly.. but wasn't quick enough.. the poor dog was immediately ran over by the car in front of me.. I could see the dog.. under the wheels on that car.. the front followed by the back.. and it was very horrific.. I could honestly say I almost cried.. I've never been so shocked in my life.. or at least in the past few days.. you can even see as the boot of the car bouncing up and down as it runs over the poor poor dog.. it wasn't at all a pretty sight.. but to my amazement.. after both wheels have passed.. the dog miraculously got up and ran off to the side of the road and into the bush.. for the first time in a very long time.. I felt an ease in my mind.. I know it's a cruel thing that the dog got ran over.. but it lived.. it ran.. and I believe it's still alive and breathing well right now.. and it inspired me to get out of this hole.. and live my life again.. cause if that car can't stop that dog from ruining its day.. I don't see why I should dwell on such sorrow.. In fact I'm learning to take things more positively now.. I'm even reading this book: "Don't sweat the small stuff.. and it's all small stuff.." by Richard Carlson.. yeah it sounds lame but I can't think of a better time in my life to have found this book.. and it's helping me out a lot.. I just wanna say thank you very very much to those that have made this tremendously easy for me.. you know who you are.. *muaxxx*

posted by spes 3:53 am  4 comments

 
I don't need you anymore
I'm okay and I am sure
I don't need you anymore
Yeah I'm ok, I'm reassured

And I don't need you not today
I promise I'll call I promise I'll say
I don't need you not to stay
And if you ever need me I'll reciprocate

Your shoulders in my pocket
Speed dial Number 2?
See you when I need you
See you when I do
See you when I do

Do you need me, I am here
Can you ask, can you be clear
Yes you need me, I appear
Now you are me, I am here

Your shoulders in your pocket
Speed dial Number 2?
Call it when you need me
See you when I do
See you when I do

Call me when you need me
Just call me when you need me

Call me when you need me
See you when I do

Zero 7 - Speed Dial No.2



posted by spes 10:49 am

  full moon: right now I'm feeling estatically happy and it's freaking me out.. let's just see how long this will last.. I wanna slam a puck and kick Van's ass!! and I'm in love with colin and jared! eh eh eh..
posted by spes 4:03 am  0 comments

  hope: cause I'd rather wait and be disappointed.. caues what if the universe decided to be kind today.. you never know..
posted by spes 5:58 pm  0 comments

 
I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see It could
never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

Switchfoot - Let That Be Enough


posted by spes 2:58 pm

  passing by: I see the way people get souped.. sure it may not be as yummy but at least they always smile.. cause it's a perfect world for them that they get souped that way.. I wish I had that kinda treatment but I've totally passed that.. I didn't get to hang around that zone long enough.. I quickly jumped and realized that I have fallen into this odd category.. a zone where I get souped with cautious.. fear even.. maybe cause it's more yummier and we just don't wanna lose it.. but I think that's stupid.. we should all embrace it and get souped as you would anyone else.. or better even since we are actually yummier.. but I suppose it's the fear.. the more yummier, the more fear of putting in the wrong ingredients that makes it taste sour.. I wished I was souped better.. cause there's nothing to fear.. cause even if I go sour.. I'd never be poured down the drain..

posted by spes 1:03 am  3 comments

  note: I had yet another dream I was soo eager to tell.. it was a good dream.. a comfortable dream.. except i kept waking up every now a then so i can't remember.. but I did however woke up this one time and made myself repeated the dream in my head over once so I won't forget and then went back to sleep.. I guess that doesn't work.. *sigh*

posted by spes 6:11 pm  0 comments

  frequency: it looked different this time around.. it was more white with pinkish-red glow along the corners of the wall and the ceiling.. there were people around me but I didn't care.. I never cared cause he wasn't there but that wasn't gonna stop me.. I ran out.. onto the stage no less, but I didn't care.. not for them at least.. they were performing but I kept walking.. even with that flash of bright glow.. I kept walking.. until I reached a huge lobby, deciding wither to go to the nearest washroom by the door or take the furthest one down the hall.. I than took an adventure and walk down that hall where the stalls of the washrooms were clear glass.. I couldn't hold it much longer so I peed.. the stall next to mine sat a friend who asked wither or not I was going to party but I felt embarrassed discussing about anything whilst taking a leak so I went out.. outside waited 5 old Japanese female tourist asking wither they can pay me to strip.. and I said no.. altho I was intrigued to see where the conversation may have led..

posted by spes 1:34 am  0 comments

 
I want to lay down with you forever
Or just this afternoon
Watching the shadows getting long
I'll sing you a quiet song
Watch you sleep so slow and deep

Baby I know that all your pain will pass
I know you're sad, but it won't last
I'm betting you everything that I've got in my pocket
When you're staring out into the sky
See what you have
And don't ask why
Things can't be different, they're perfect

Want to remind you how you laugh
Sometimes you don't even make a sound
Till you fall down on the ground
I'm going to love you every day
Maybe it'll balance out the pain
That I can't take away

Baby I know that all your pain will pass
I know you're sad, but it won't last
I'm betting you everything that I've got in my pocket
When you're staring out into the sky
See what you have, and don't ask why
Things can't be different, they're perfect

So come on and lay down with me
I'll tell you all the useless things
That I have learned
But this one good thing my old man told me

Baby I know that all your pain will pass
I know you're sad, but it won't last
I'm betting you everything that I've got in my pocket
When you're staring out into the sky
See what you have, and don't ask why
Things can't be different, they're perfect

Minnie Driver - Everything I've Got In My Pocket

posted by spes 8:52 pm

  bliss: take me back to that music.. take me back to that light.. take me back that feeling of.. infinity..

posted by spes 4:32 am  2 comments